The man who partially returned her stolen heart

Sunday, May 27, 2018 Life , Miscellaneous 0 Comments

Seems like my dearest friend is on this side of life again. The ups and downs; oh, how we wish that there will never be rainy days! From her last story "Account of notes that a lost soul once told me", and now there's this other story. One, where she was again willing to share with me so I could tell her story over here. (sobbing in between, clearly devastated, she could still, crack a lil banter and said: "Oh you know, this diary over here I'm allowing you to read is actually guarded by 2 cherubim, each equipped with flaming sword". I looked at her sideways and cocked my eyebrows, lips pursed in annoyance at her terrible joke and said: " Oh, is that right? so why am I allowed to read this again?" In reply to that she said: " Because I trust you and I'd like you to share this so that perhaps some of us can learn a lil something from it. And, I guess I do enjoy how you write my story." "Alright", I laughed. )


I'll start with how they met.

".... I met him on a platform where I wouldn't be able to tell my parents about. But I'll gladly tell them that I met him from a friend. It's true. They won't know anyway. We have similar interest so they won't know, really....".

Yep, that's how they met and that's all she's allowing me to put in. (quite a bummer, but I suppose I needed to respect her privacy) Well, I guess when the good is going good, all is well and fine. As time passes, she realised that making things work requires more than just emotional interest from both parties. It also requires a lot of give and take and mutual respect. It's just how much each person can compromise for each other. How much each other can tolerate each other's bad side. Then there's also mutual trust for each other; once the trust is gone, it will be hard for a relationship to work. It will be like sitting on a time bomb.

"...Sure, he stole my heart. I think he's cute. He's funny, too. Sometimes a lil weird but in a good way. I like it. But, why does he seem to want to look for fulfilment elsewhere? Didn't he told me in the beginning that, that, I shouldn't mess with his heart? So why is he doing this in return to me? Why? He told me he felt bad when he tried to speak to some girls at the club after his breakup. Doesn't he feel bad for me? Or am I just another toy to him? Another fling maybe? I confronted him before but why again? Did I not made myself clear enough that I'm not comfortable with his actions? I suppose I should give him another chance. Maybe... weighing out his bad and his good points will help. and perhaps giving him at least a year's worth of hope? Yes?..."  

(curious patrons can go ahead and read but otherwise the details below can be skipped) 

Brownie points I see in Noel

1. He can be quite thoughtful and kind. e.g: Remember that time when he took cared of you after that lil fateful night out? Remember how he took your accessories off from you? 

1. He doesn't shout at you or in front of public.  

1. He went after me when I stormed off in anger. 

1. And he waited for you to return after you went off. 

1. He was still kind of simple at heart.  

1. I guess, I appreciate his athletic looks. I really do. Well, that's aesthetic really. 

1. Sometimes I think he kinda resembles me a lil. certain characteristics. 

1. Our way of expressing physical love is pretty much on par 

1. He'd tell mummy I'm safely home  

1. I love how he'd take my heavier bag. I thought it was very nice of him 

1. I remember the time when he waited for me at the sundry shop for ice cream but I never turned up because I was stuck in a different dimension. 

 Bad points? 

1. My biggest top charting would be his girls issue I confronted him about.  

1. He can sometimes be quite childish at times.  

1. Different stage in life.  

1. Monetary stuff I wish he would be clear about. E.g: bill splitting/ dividing when we go out for meals. 

1. Sometimes I feel that he might not be sensitive enough. He just doesn't know. e.g: not putting his shoes in other people's situation. 

But well, alas, their journey together ended pre-maturely because she called it off. She was frustrated at the fact that she felt betrayed by him. At the fact that he doesn't seemed to be taking the relationship seriously. She felt emotionally cheated and hurt. All the cliché statements from what sound like an unfaithful relationship.

Sometimes I do feel bad for her but at some point, maybe time would be her only antidote. Maybe she might give him one last benefit of a doubt if he ever tries to set things right? I told her that it's painful but well, we'd never know what is our future ahead of us.. que sera sera. Everything happens for a reason I told her. Her eyes filled with tears as I told her that. Then, she muttered: "Well, at least we had been lovers.. If only he needn't do that to me. if only... " not sure what she entirely meant but clearly, she is still very much upset from what hit her.

"I felt that some part of me is still left in him. And it might be there with him forever because I allowed him to have it in return for some of him to be in me. That lil corner of my heart that was etched with him, just like my previous relationship before him. I never full gotten back my stolen heart", is what she said. Before I ended my conversation with her I gave her a verse that popped up on my phone on the same day.

Philippians 4:6
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;

We'll see how the future unfolds itself for her.  I also told her that if it's meant to be. It'll be. I pat and gently pulled her over to my lap as she cried.